Heart Gallery 23

Michele Coleman, Ph. D. LMFT

July 2019

We have worked so hard these past few months taking ownership for how we are showing up with those closest to us as we prepare for a new addition to our family or as we welcome that new youngster into our home. The latest addition to our family joined us six years ago, when he was 11 years old, in the fifth grade and could not read. He has come so far. He is now going into the eleventh grade. As he learned to read within six months of joining us, this year he made the final transition out of special education classes. His advisor is preparing him to take college bound classes. Now that is an achievement!!

Our son continues to heal and grow and to be that safe teen others turn to because we his parents were willing to be the agents of change in his life. Our final step in being the parents who CARES, is:

S - Speak the words that communicate I am the nurturing adult willing to help my child heal.

These words may sound simple, but trust me, when my wounding is activated, nurturing words are not the first ones to come to mind. Some of you know what I am talking about. I have to work, really hard, to engage all of the steps as I want to create a healing environment for my son to be able to learn that adults can and will be the safe other in his life to whom he can turn in times of need and times of connection.

Last month I had a teacher say he could do the first few steps towards being the Teacher who CARES, but this last step was out of reach. In the training he attended I thanked him for his honesty, and as a group we used our breathing tools and engaged each step of the process together. By the end, I turned to the teacher and asked him, “Would you have nurturing words available now?” And he said yes.

As we embrace our role in the healing process we not only give the gift of healing, but we receive it as well. Join me in sharing the gift of being the Parent who CARES.

When my child does that thing that makes me feel... I need to...Be the Parent who CARES 

C - Courageously own the pain that has just been activated by my child

A - Acknowledge the challenge and breathe into it

R - Regulate myself and get present

E - Embrace the pain within me and nurture it 

S - Speak the words that communicate I am the nurturing adult willing to help my child heal.

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