Michele Coleman, Ph. D. LMFT
As the Holidays approach this is the time when we tend to become stressed. In addition to our regular busy lives, juggling all we are responsible for, the Holidays add several more balls to juggle. The Holidays also mean different things to different people. For some, Holidays are the anniversary for traumatic experiences and with the memories of these events, come the physical and emotional distress associated with those memories. Given the stress of the Holidays I think it is essential that we focus on our self-care in order to maintain our resiliency throughout this time period.
If we can somehow manage to stay present, and to return to calm more times than we are distressed, we can actually show up and enjoy the Holidays. And I could be wrong, but I think this is the time we are to be enjoying ourselves with family and friends. For many of our children, not having a family is distressful in and of itself and the Holidays remind them of their loss.
Since the Holidays are a time of family and friends coming together, I am going to invite you to connect with your loved ones in a different way. Brene Brown, has a wonderful cartoon on empathy. If you have five minutes, click on this link and watch it. https://www.google.com/search?...
Your homework for now until the end of the year is to pay attention to your support system. Do you have people who listen to you when you are distressed? Do these people listen without having the need to tell you how to “fix” your problem? Is your go to person someone who allows you talk about you without making the conversation about them? For instance, if your go to person says, “Oh yeah, that happened to me too, and I.....” Hear me when I say, this is not the person I am asking you to seek support from. Watch Brene Brown, and use this clip on empathy to guide you to the supportive, nurturing, caring other in your life that you want to emulate to be that for your child when they are placed in your home.